I'm currently involved with a relatively new San Francisco-based group (STAR) whose purpose is to bring seminars and workshops FREE of cost. We've already agreed to collaborate with at least TWO pickup companies here in Asia.
Anyway, STAR is trying to bring New School stuff to Asia since the community in Asia is still mainly exposed to routines and gimmicks, which we call Pickup1.0. Check out STAR (Currently down- under maintenance as of this post but please check back in the coming days).
WORKSHOPS:
Hong Kong- June 14, 20 (bilingual); August 8
Seoul- July 11, 18, 25 (bilingual)
Beijing- TBD
Check back when more details are released Please contact me if you're interested! There are already many people confirmed for the June 20 workshop so please get your seats early.
FUTURE workshops in Europe and North America/Caribbean:
USA (SF Bay Area, Los Angeles, Seattle, New York)
United Kingdom (London, Glasgow, Newcastle and Manchester)
Northern Europe (Stockholm, Copenhagen, Oslo, Amsterdam)
Bahamas (Nassau, Freeport City)
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Compliance-based game
After having an off-night last night, tonight was cool. Met up “E” again from last Saturday. I also brought along a German friend. We first went to an exclusive club, it was kinda mellow. Switched to the club “B” again, and everything worked out fine.
I gave my “Compliance” style game a test, and I think I’ve just created my new model of game. Bear in mind, this took me 2 years to figure out so it wasn’t like it’s overnight.
I’ve seen people try out an array of different game structures, formulas and other methods that give more backbone to interactions with girls, but many times the question remains: When do I know what to do “this” or “that”, and what stage of the model I’m in?
Rather than give a theoretical structure like everyone else, I’ve decided to give my interactions a more solid backbone: Compliance tests. This is the best way to gauge what you should do next in the interactions. If she’s passing big compliance tests, then it means you can do a lot more. Throwing bigger compliance tests also mean escalating, verbally and non-verbally. If she refuses to pass the compliance test, you either got to make the compliance test a smaller one, or somehow do compliance bridging: which is what occurs between one compliance test and the next.
Pre-compliance is what I call the “prep” work you need to do before you throw out your first compliance test. The “prep” work could include Higher value, body language, tonality, the strength of your opener and other aspects of inner game. The amount of pre-compliance you do determines how big the first compliance test can be.
I’ll explain more about how the compliance-game works in the coming posts.
P.S I am going to cool down on the amount of FRs to give because it’s the lessons learned from the FRs that are actually of any value. Of course, I’ll always give real-life examples to help relate better.
I gave my “Compliance” style game a test, and I think I’ve just created my new model of game. Bear in mind, this took me 2 years to figure out so it wasn’t like it’s overnight.
I’ve seen people try out an array of different game structures, formulas and other methods that give more backbone to interactions with girls, but many times the question remains: When do I know what to do “this” or “that”, and what stage of the model I’m in?
Rather than give a theoretical structure like everyone else, I’ve decided to give my interactions a more solid backbone: Compliance tests. This is the best way to gauge what you should do next in the interactions. If she’s passing big compliance tests, then it means you can do a lot more. Throwing bigger compliance tests also mean escalating, verbally and non-verbally. If she refuses to pass the compliance test, you either got to make the compliance test a smaller one, or somehow do compliance bridging: which is what occurs between one compliance test and the next.
Pre-compliance is what I call the “prep” work you need to do before you throw out your first compliance test. The “prep” work could include Higher value, body language, tonality, the strength of your opener and other aspects of inner game. The amount of pre-compliance you do determines how big the first compliance test can be.
I’ll explain more about how the compliance-game works in the coming posts.
P.S I am going to cool down on the amount of FRs to give because it’s the lessons learned from the FRs that are actually of any value. Of course, I’ll always give real-life examples to help relate better.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Bad Nights...so what?
Don’t view this night as an attempt to glorify bad nights, but bad nights really do help you reflect on the night and make it better the next time (check my next blog post) Here’s a list of things that went wrong for me:
1. Hanging out with AFC friends that are really negative, even while knowing I should’ve ditched them earlier
2. Going to the wrong venue: A graduation party. Wtf.
3. Not warming up and having higher energy level
4. Running into my ex-fling and meeting her insane insecure boyfriend-wannabe.
If anybody ever has a bad night, I highly recommend you to after the night, sit down and analyze what went wrong, list out a few things that caused your night to go abysmal. I used to get very disheartened when my nights go wrong, but I realized that even masters have terrible nights if they are just going out to perfect game and not actually hangout with entourages. Entourage game never goes wrong.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, but don’t put the blame on anyone. Analyze what went wrong and move on.
1. Hanging out with AFC friends that are really negative, even while knowing I should’ve ditched them earlier
2. Going to the wrong venue: A graduation party. Wtf.
3. Not warming up and having higher energy level
4. Running into my ex-fling and meeting her insane insecure boyfriend-wannabe.
If anybody ever has a bad night, I highly recommend you to after the night, sit down and analyze what went wrong, list out a few things that caused your night to go abysmal. I used to get very disheartened when my nights go wrong, but I realized that even masters have terrible nights if they are just going out to perfect game and not actually hangout with entourages. Entourage game never goes wrong.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, but don’t put the blame on anyone. Analyze what went wrong and move on.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Old Goldies #5: Guys have Approach Anxiety, Girls have ApproachED anxiety
Last installment...and the best old goldie I have for you guys:
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I learned this in Beijing, whether they are conservative or extremely open. Just like guys have approach anxiety, girls have "approached" anxiety (aka Being Approached Anxiety). BUT unlike guys that try to get over approach anxiety, girls don’t have ANY incentive to work on "approached" anxiety, unless they are becoming more social either for personal or professional reasons, such as a girl becoming a bar hostess will naturally have to become more approachable.
I'll give you a couple of examples:
The shy girl has approached anxiety because she is not used to talk to strangers. So when a guy goes up to her and approach, she doesnt really know how to deal with it.
The super hottie has approached anxiety because she gets hit on too much. She's seen it all: guys that have a ton of girls (prolly escorts) going up to her, guys that wear fuzzy hat with crazy PUA routines, guys that look so pimp with their ultra-alpha bodylanguage. Thus, she's hesitant to be approached.
The girl that has just had her toe stepped on has approached anxiety because her toe hurts so much that the last thing she needs at that moment is a guy courting her. What about her toe?!
The loyal girlfriend has approached anxiety because shes scared of falling for a guy thats so mesmerizing as she is already taken.
The escort has approached anxiety because she is trying to keep a low-profile as she is still working, she'd love to talk to you but her career comes first. She doesnt wanna get caught up with a cute guy because it'll interfere with the relationship she has with her clients. She also doesnt want her profile to be blown out in the open so its even more anxiety for her.
The regular hottie has approached anxiety because shes dealt with good looking guys before. In the beginning, they were overjoyed. Then they realized it was too good to be true. The next time a goodlooking guy with game came about, theyre extremely hesitant.
There are a ton more cases and I’m sure you can think of more (I can already think of at least 7 more), but the point is to demonstrate that the next time a girl is unreactive or negative to your approach, perhaps she has approached anxiety! Help her get over that. Everybody has anxiety, guys or girls. As I said, it's just that we are dealing with our AA, but most of them arent, so we gotta give them a helping hand.
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I learned this in Beijing, whether they are conservative or extremely open. Just like guys have approach anxiety, girls have "approached" anxiety (aka Being Approached Anxiety). BUT unlike guys that try to get over approach anxiety, girls don’t have ANY incentive to work on "approached" anxiety, unless they are becoming more social either for personal or professional reasons, such as a girl becoming a bar hostess will naturally have to become more approachable.
I'll give you a couple of examples:
The shy girl has approached anxiety because she is not used to talk to strangers. So when a guy goes up to her and approach, she doesnt really know how to deal with it.
The super hottie has approached anxiety because she gets hit on too much. She's seen it all: guys that have a ton of girls (prolly escorts) going up to her, guys that wear fuzzy hat with crazy PUA routines, guys that look so pimp with their ultra-alpha bodylanguage. Thus, she's hesitant to be approached.
The girl that has just had her toe stepped on has approached anxiety because her toe hurts so much that the last thing she needs at that moment is a guy courting her. What about her toe?!
The loyal girlfriend has approached anxiety because shes scared of falling for a guy thats so mesmerizing as she is already taken.
The escort has approached anxiety because she is trying to keep a low-profile as she is still working, she'd love to talk to you but her career comes first. She doesnt wanna get caught up with a cute guy because it'll interfere with the relationship she has with her clients. She also doesnt want her profile to be blown out in the open so its even more anxiety for her.
The regular hottie has approached anxiety because shes dealt with good looking guys before. In the beginning, they were overjoyed. Then they realized it was too good to be true. The next time a goodlooking guy with game came about, theyre extremely hesitant.
There are a ton more cases and I’m sure you can think of more (I can already think of at least 7 more), but the point is to demonstrate that the next time a girl is unreactive or negative to your approach, perhaps she has approached anxiety! Help her get over that. Everybody has anxiety, guys or girls. As I said, it's just that we are dealing with our AA, but most of them arent, so we gotta give them a helping hand.
Old Goldies #4: Mere exposure effect and False Time Constraints
4th installment.
Mere Exposure Effect:
Mere exposure effect is a very powerful tool if you would like to increase your social proof within an hour or two. This is especially useful if you go braindead and cant seem to be able to remember your DHV stories, especially if you're fucking lazy like me.
To gain mere exposure effect, all you gotta do is walk around the venue, talk to everyone! Only very briefly. Could be just asking them for the bathroom, but always make sure you get names. Even if the girls are hot, eject right away after the 30sec limit.
After you pretty much know everyone in the club. Now reopen the hot sets! They should know you by now, it's no longer a cold approach. They wont blow you off because it's a warm approach, they've seen you talk to everyone and you know the names of EVERYONE that's walking by. "Hi Dean, Hi Jenny, Hi Mark etc etc..."
False Time Constraints:
FTCs could be considered lying, but seriously, everyone lies. Even Gandhi and Mother Teresa did. And, it's not really lying, you might be leaving soon if you #close or eject.
E.g. "I actually have to go meet up some girls in a few minutes, but...."
The reason why you would want to use an FTC is that as we all know, direct game doesnt always give you receptiveness by girls so they would tend to walk away after your direct approaches. Just by adding a FTC, I received more game time and quite easily turn things around. And I dont even do direct game as much these days!
FTCs definitely work for indirect game too. Just add it to your game and tell me how it goes. Dont say it doesnt work until you try it, because I have field-tested this.
Mere Exposure Effect:
Mere exposure effect is a very powerful tool if you would like to increase your social proof within an hour or two. This is especially useful if you go braindead and cant seem to be able to remember your DHV stories, especially if you're fucking lazy like me.
To gain mere exposure effect, all you gotta do is walk around the venue, talk to everyone! Only very briefly. Could be just asking them for the bathroom, but always make sure you get names. Even if the girls are hot, eject right away after the 30sec limit.
After you pretty much know everyone in the club. Now reopen the hot sets! They should know you by now, it's no longer a cold approach. They wont blow you off because it's a warm approach, they've seen you talk to everyone and you know the names of EVERYONE that's walking by. "Hi Dean, Hi Jenny, Hi Mark etc etc..."
False Time Constraints:
FTCs could be considered lying, but seriously, everyone lies. Even Gandhi and Mother Teresa did. And, it's not really lying, you might be leaving soon if you #close or eject.
E.g. "I actually have to go meet up some girls in a few minutes, but...."
The reason why you would want to use an FTC is that as we all know, direct game doesnt always give you receptiveness by girls so they would tend to walk away after your direct approaches. Just by adding a FTC, I received more game time and quite easily turn things around. And I dont even do direct game as much these days!
FTCs definitely work for indirect game too. Just add it to your game and tell me how it goes. Dont say it doesnt work until you try it, because I have field-tested this.
Old Goldies #3: To plow or not to plow (how long to stay in set)
Continued.
Ive been asked a really interesting question lately by a friend who I introduced game to and just starting out. How long do you stay in set? When should you plow?
Everybody has different takes on this, but to me it really depends on your objective.
I am looking for high quality chicks (both looks and personality, not so much status at this pt in my life) as well as girls that can add to my social circle.
Bear in mind I am a qualitative guy. More time does not mean better results IMO!
Night Game: It varies. It really depends on my mood, as well as the number of good looking girls there. If there are very limited good looking girls, then I'll stick to one or two the whole night. If there are lots, then I'm usually in and out sets. I tend to stay longer with girls I vibe better and like to dance. Sometimes I also play mere exposure effect (see below)
Day Game: Since Day 1 of Day Game, I've never spent too much time plowing. I dont think newbies should plow every set, because I dont think it helps. They can get comfortable talking to plain girls but when it comes to the top ones, they'll falter. More exposure to girls overall does not mean much in the world of "a newbie and his fantasy girl" if he hasnt had enough quality interactions with hotties. Plus there's lots of fish in the sea!
Especially in high traffic zones, you DO NOT want to be plowing every set. I usually keep them 5 minutes or much less, I do enough to prevent them from flaking and I let my text/phone game do the rest of my job.
So for me, to figure out how long to stay in set and whether to plow out, I have come up with a practical guideline regardless of who you are:
1. What is your objective? (Unless you're objective is to talk to every girl, then please be wiser about time management)
2. Where are you... High Traffic Zone or Scarcity Zone?
3. Do you naturally like to talk a lot? (For me, I naturally like to talk to people only after I get to kno them better)
4. Do you connect with the girl well? After all, why waste your time.
Ive been asked a really interesting question lately by a friend who I introduced game to and just starting out. How long do you stay in set? When should you plow?
Everybody has different takes on this, but to me it really depends on your objective.
I am looking for high quality chicks (both looks and personality, not so much status at this pt in my life) as well as girls that can add to my social circle.
Bear in mind I am a qualitative guy. More time does not mean better results IMO!
Night Game: It varies. It really depends on my mood, as well as the number of good looking girls there. If there are very limited good looking girls, then I'll stick to one or two the whole night. If there are lots, then I'm usually in and out sets. I tend to stay longer with girls I vibe better and like to dance. Sometimes I also play mere exposure effect (see below)
Day Game: Since Day 1 of Day Game, I've never spent too much time plowing. I dont think newbies should plow every set, because I dont think it helps. They can get comfortable talking to plain girls but when it comes to the top ones, they'll falter. More exposure to girls overall does not mean much in the world of "a newbie and his fantasy girl" if he hasnt had enough quality interactions with hotties. Plus there's lots of fish in the sea!
Especially in high traffic zones, you DO NOT want to be plowing every set. I usually keep them 5 minutes or much less, I do enough to prevent them from flaking and I let my text/phone game do the rest of my job.
So for me, to figure out how long to stay in set and whether to plow out, I have come up with a practical guideline regardless of who you are:
1. What is your objective? (Unless you're objective is to talk to every girl, then please be wiser about time management)
2. Where are you... High Traffic Zone or Scarcity Zone?
3. Do you naturally like to talk a lot? (For me, I naturally like to talk to people only after I get to kno them better)
4. Do you connect with the girl well? After all, why waste your time.
Old Goldies #2: Leaving her better than you found (why I don't like it)
This is the second part of the installment:
"Leaving them better than you found her":
My view: Why should I care about her, who is she to me? If I'm truly outcome independent, which I am not haha, then I shouldn’t even care! How about my goal to TRY and leave BOTH of us better than I first met her. My goal of spreading AZ's love doesnt discount my share, and if it fails, then who cares about her. She can't always be a taker.
I'd like to think that when I am in an interaction with a girl, the best interactions are when you can phase out all the hustle and bustle of this world, and enjoy one another's company. Profound huh?
I may have cared about her during our short-conversation, but I care about "us" more. If there is no "us", then once she leaves, I dont care about her. There's too many things to care about. What about the starving kids in Africa The people dying from sick illnesses? They are my care, and people that I wanna leave BETTER. Not some girl that didn't even care about me. For all I care, she can walk out and get nothing out of me, that's her issue. I am not dependent on her. If she still does, then it wouldnt be a case of "leaving".
Now you may ask...doesn't she deserve my care though, cause she spent time listening to me talk? Well, at the same time I gave her an opportunity to know me, but more importantly, a chance of seeing if "us" will work out.
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